FTGH Outtakes
by kas90
Summary: Outtakes from my story, Family Ties and Guarding Hearts. There will be at least one from each year B&E were in high school. Rated M for future chapters. Don't read unless you've started reading F.T.G.H.
1. Freshmen Year of HS

**Author's Notes: Here is the first outtake for Family Ties and Guarding Hearts. As far as I have planned, right now, there will be four outtakes, one from each year they're in high school. I'm sure more will come after that.**

**Hope you enjoy this new insight into our lovely Bells and Doc.**

**Please Review.**

*******

Freshmen Year

**BPOV**

_The New Kids on the Block_ blared from my radio at seven-thirty a.m.—my own personal wake up call. Too bad I've been up for well over an hour already. I could never sleep the night before a new school year, let alone the night leading up to my first day of high school.

I threw off the covers and climbed out of bed. I didn't need to have my shades open to know that it was raining. It was _always_ raining. The sound had become a familiar melody to my uneventful life.

The door to my bedroom creaked open and my mom poked her head through. "Oh, you're up!" she said, surprised. "I was certain I was going to have to drag you out of bed." She came over and kissed my forehead gently.

"Not today," I said, smiling back at her. "But I bet you'll have better luck tomorrow."

She laughed lightly as she moved to my bed and pulled up the covers, making it tight and neat. "I can make my own bed, Mom. I am in high school now." I was fourteen years old. I did not need my mom making my bed for me.

"Oh, my apologies, madam. Please," she gestured with her hand, "be my guest."

I moved to the other side of the bed and finished pulling the covers up tight, all the while smiling at my mom. I took notice of how beautiful she was while I did so. Her shoulder length, reddish-brown hair was soft and never out of place, even at seven-thirty in the morning.

"All right Isabella, you go shower and get ready, and I'll go make you breakfast and try to pretend that my baby is not actually going to high school." Her face fell and she got all pouty. "I'm too young for you to be there. Soon enough you'll be going off to college, and getting married, and having kids!" she exclaimed, with her hands raised in the air for emphasis.

"Whoa, Mom, calm down. I'm only a freshman; it's not a big deal." She always blew everything out of proportion.

She came over and hugged me tightly. "Never grow up, Isabella. Stay young forever."

"That sounds awful! Who would ever want to stay young forever?" I asked, incredulously. She sighed and hugged me tighter.

"Mom, I need to get ready," I said eventually. She released me and sighed.

"Okay, baby."

***

I kissed my mom on the cheek before I opened the passenger side door and got out to face the new building that would be my second home for the next four years. I kept out my map and tried to find my first class in Building C.

I made my way around the entire school. I was so wet it looked like I swam a few laps for shits and giggles and was beginning to think that Building C didn't really exist. How was it even possible to get lost? The school really wasn't that big. The map must be faulty.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed, to no one in particular, when I made my way back to Building B.

"You okay?"

I turned around to no other than Edward Cullen. _Of course,_ I thought.

"I'm fine," I told him bitterly, embarrassed he saw me looking like this. I haven't seen him all summer and he was even more beautiful than I remember.

"Suit yourself," he said, rolling his eyes and walking away.

***

I slammed the front door of the house and made my way into the kitchen, throwing my book bag down on an empty seat.

"How was your first day?" my mom asked, sitting in the opposite chair.

"I'm never going back," I said, angrily.

"It couldn't have been that bad," she said in that _I'm-a-mom-so-I-know-everything_ tone.

"Oh, it was," I insisted. "To start my day, I walked into class late looking like a wet dog after running into my crush of like… forever. Then I had to sit next to Jessica Stanley in _three _of my classes, fell over my own feet at lunch, spilling my tray everywhere, and to top it all off, I hit Mike Newton in the head with the volleyball during gym class, and was made fun of by everyone."

She looked at me like it wasn't even that bad.

"Mom, they put a yellow piece of paper on my back saying, "CAUTION, Deal with at your own risk."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry honey. But it will get better."

"Can I just transfer? Like move to Florida or something?"

She laughed and got up to hug me. "No, sweetie. You can't just run away from your life."

***

The rest of that week went by a lot better. I found that Mike was actually really nice. He apologized for what happened on the first day with the sign and everything. I was really beginning to like him.

I was beginning to be able to handle Jessica, as well. She really wasn't that bad if you knew how to deal with her. And it was nice to have someone to hang out with outside of school.

I only saw Edward at lunch, though. My crush on him was really pathetic. We never had a real conversation, if you don't count the first day of school. He stayed with Jasper and Rosalie when he wasn't playing football, and I… well, I just avoided him. He would never be interested in me, anyway.

It was a week before my fifteenth birthday. My day started off to its normal pattern- radio alarm, sound of my rain melody outside, and breakfast with my mom. I got to school and had a typical day. The only real change was when Mike asked me out during lunch. I told him my dad wouldn't allow me to date until I was sixteen. It wasn't completely a lie, but I knew Jessica would be upset if I ever agreed to date the guy she was after.

I took the bus home and was surprised to find the front door locked. I knelt down and found the spare key underneath the rock, on the porch.

"Mom? Are you home?" I asked, walking into the house. I placed my book bag down on the chair, in the kitchen. "Mom?"

I went out to the garage to see if her car was there. It was empty.

She must have gone grocery shopping, I reasoned. _But she did that yesterday._ Maybe she had a doctor's appointment or… something.

I made myself a snack and began my homework. It was a while later, when my dad came through the door.

"Hey, Daddy," I called out to him.

"Hey, baby girl. How was your day?" he asked, kissing my forehead.

"Excruciatingly uneventful," I complained light-heartedly.

"Where's your mom?" he asked.

"Not sure. She wasn't here when I got home. She didn't tell me she was going anywhere today. I figured you knew."

He took a beer out of the fridge. "She didn't mention anything to me."

"I'm sure she'll be home soon."

"I'm sure your right." He left me in the kitchen to go to his usual spot in front of the TV.

I went to bed fairly early that night, after I kissed my dad on the cheek. Mom still hadn't come back, but my dad assured me not to worry.

The next morning started off like any other, the radio alarm and the melody of rain. This time, however, my mom did not meet me downstairs for breakfast. Nor was she there when I got home after school. When my dad came home that night, he sat me down on the couch and told me we needed to talk.

"Her stuff is gone, Bella," he said.

"What do you mean her stuff is gone?" I asked, confused.

"She left, honey."

What? No. "No," I told him. "When is she coming back?"

He sighed and reached out for me. I pulled away. "When is she coming back?" I asked again.

He shook his head at me. "I don't think she is, baby."

"LIAR!" I yelled. "What happened to her? Where is she?"

"I don't know, baby. I don't know."

"Don't lie to me!" I screamed. "Where is my mom?"

"Bella, please. Calm down."

"I'm not going to calm down!" I started pacing the room, trying to make sense of what he was saying. "She'll be back," I said, my tone softening. "She has to be back. I'm here. She has to come back for me. Right, Daddy?" I turned to face him. "Right? She has to come back."

"Bella…" He stood, shoulders slumped in defeat. "I don't think she is," he said sadly.

My dad slept on the couch that night, and I stayed on the bottom step of the stairs, staring at the front door. _She'll be back_, I repeated to myself.

****

**EPOV**

Another year. That's all this was. Another year of immeasurable boredom. What difference did it make that it was done in a new building. It's not like Forks High School was any better than Forks Middle School. Same long, rainy days and insufficient teachers.

"Hey, man," Jasper greeted me as I joined him at lunch.

"What's up," I responded.

"I hate this place already," he observed, as he looked around the cafeteria.

"Tell me about it," I agreed.

"Lauren definitely filled out this summer. That's a plus." He tried to look on the up side.

"I heard they're fake," Rosalie added, as she sat down next to me.

"No way!" Jasper and I said at the same time.

"Those are definitely real," I retorted.

"I guess you're just going to have to find out for yourself," Rose challenged.

"Done," I said confidently, earning a laugh from both Jasper and my sister.

***

"Cullen! What the hell are you doing?" Coach screamed. "You run the plays I say! This is my team! You can't just go and make up your own shit!"

I bit my tongue to prevent myself from responding. I really didn't feel like running suicides today.

"Run it again!" he ordered. "Get it right this time or I'm putting Newton in!"

No way was I going to let that happen. Football was the only thing that allowed me to escape this small, dreary hell that was Forks, Washington. I never felt that I was good enough, especially to my "perfect" family. Dad was the town hero, as far as most people were concerned. He was the only suitable surgeon in the area, and he continued to remind me that I was to follow exactly in his footsteps.

_"How wonderful would it be"_ he would say. _"We could even work together one day. Father and son. Wouldn't that be great, Edward?" _Just fucking peachy.

_"You need to do better in school, Edward, if you want to go to med school. Getting into college is the first step. Stop fooling around with Jasper and study more. Why aren't you getting an A in math, you need an A in math, Edward. Spend more time on your homework. You can do so much better if you just apply yourself. Edward, this. Edward, that. Edward, med school. Edward, follow in my footsteps. Edward, Edward, Edward." _

Did he ever once think that I didn't want to follow in his footsteps? That maybe I despised hospitals? But no, nothing else was ever going to be enough for him. I wasn't enough for him. I wasn't good enough. But I was good at football. Football was mine. He couldn't take that from me.

"Cullen!" my coached yelled, again, bringing me out of my trance.

"What the hell do you want from me?" I finally snapped and yelled back at him. "I'm doing what you're fucking telling me to do!"

"Don't you speak to me like that, boy."

I sighed in defeat. "Run the play again," he ordered.

***

"How was school today, Edward?" my mom asked when I got home.

"Fine," I responded.

"And football?"

"Fine."

"It was just fine?" she asked, sadly.

I took a deep breath. My mom did not deserve to be the focus of my anger.

"It was great, Mom," I said finally.

She smiled. "Good, honey." She made her way back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

"Hello, Edward." My dad greeted me, coming into the room.

"Hi, Dad," I said back to him dryly.

"How was school today?"

"Fine," I repeated.

"How do you think you'll do in math this year? This is the year it really starts to count for college."

"Math will be fine." I tried to make my way up the stairs to my room.

"Don't blow this off, Edward. You need to do well in school," he scolded.

"I know that," I defended myself.

"Don't disappoint me, Edward."

I laughed bitterly. "Wouldn't think of it, Dad."

***

"Want to blaze up tonight, man?" Jasper asked after school the following week.

"Can't, dude. You know I have football," I answered him.

"Blow that shit off, Edward. Come on. You can never do shit anymore," he complained.

"Sorry, Jazz. I'll make it up to you this weekend."

"So have you found out it Lauren's tits are real or not?" he asked, as I was about to walk into the field house to change for practice.

"In time, my dear friend," I said smiling.

He scowled at me. "You really haven't hit that shit yet, man?" he asked, incredulously.

"Give me a break, Jasper. I have a lot on my plate right now," I defended.

"Whatever, man," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow." He walked away without waiting for my response.

****

**BPOV**

A week went by and she didn't come back. A month, and still no return. I eventually made my way back to school, but life didn't hold the same meaning as it had.

It took a few weeks before it really hit me that she wasn't returning. I took over making dinner every night, and I made enough for three. I would set the table in the dining room, as my mom always did, with three place settings. I would pick up her plate when my dad and I were done eating and wash it like I normally would. I knew she wasn't actually there, but I wanted to make sure that if she were to walk in the door at that moment, there would be a meal for her.

"Enough!" my dad screamed at me one night.

"What?" I asked, innocently.

He picked up the plate that I had set for Renee and threw it against the wall, sending spaghetti everywhere. "Stop, Bella! Just stop!"

I was frozen in my spot, staring at the mess he made. "She's not coming back!" he continued to yell.

I calmly responded to him. "She's not going to be happy that you ruined her white carpet with the spaghetti sauce." I went into the kitchen to get a wet towel and tried to clean up the mess.

My dad huffed in annoyance and stormed out of the house. The next day he had the carpet removed and replaced with hard wood flooring. I didn't talk to him again after that.

***

Life was always going to disappoint you, I concluded. No matter what you tried to achieve, you were always going to be let down at some point. So what was the point in trying anymore? No one really cared what you did or accomplished.

So who was I going to do things for? Who did I want to be impressed with my accomplishments? I asked myself this for days, not being able to form an answer. My dad didn't care. We hadn't spoken since October and it was now pressing February. We both ignored the holidays, pretending that they didn't even exist. And my mom sure as hell didn't care. If she cared, she would still be here. Did my friends care? To be honest, I had no clue. I really hadn't spoken to any of them in months either. I walked in the halls by myself, sat at lunch by myself, and on the weekends, I spent time with myself. So who was I supposed to live life for? Myself, I finally decided. I would do this for me. I was the only one who cared, anyway.

***

**EPOV**

"Cullen?" my coached called.

I placed the weights back down and turned to face him. Football season had just ended and spring training had just begun.

"What's up Coach?" I asked.

"I want to see you in my office."

"Uh, okay," I said, following him to his office. He moved so he was sitting behind his desk and I sat in the chair directly in front.

"I want you on Varsity next year," he said outright.

My face lit up. "Really, Coach? You think I'm ready? I'll only be a sophomore.

"Yes, I know, but Junior Varsity won't challenge you enough. I don't want you just to be good, son. I want you to be great."

I laughed. "I'm already great."

"No. But you will be," he said seriously. "Now listen, you won't start next year, but you'll have definite play time."

"How much play time?" I asked, worried.

"Enough to give you experience, but not so much that it takes away from Smith. It will be his senior year and I won't take away his starting position." He must have seen my weary expression.

"This is a great opportunity, Edward. Sophomores don't get Varsity spots often. Do you understand, son?"

"Yes, sir," I replied.

"Good. So we're settled then."

***

"Oh, shit. That's it, baby. Ohhh, yeah. Just like that." I tangled my fingers through Lauren's hair as she gave me head in my bedroom.

It was now March and this had become our new routine. I figured out months ago that Lauren's tits were, indeed, real, and I had been enjoying them ever since.

She wasn't up for having sex yet, so we usually just fooled around instead. She would come over after school while my mom was running errands, and we would make our way upstairs, make out for a while, sometimes my hand would travel down south, and she almost always sucked me off.

It wasn't anything fantastic, but who was I to complain? Especially since it was purely a friends with benefits hook up. Well… not even friends. More just benefits.

***

"Will you go to the Spring Fling with me, Edward?" Lauren asked in a whiney little girl voice.

"I'll pass, thanks," I responded, making my way towards my locker.

"Please, Eddie! It will be fun."

I turned around and faced her head on, towering over her. "Don't you _ever_ call me that," I said violently. "And no, I will not go to that stupid spring…thing, or whatever. Now if you will excuse me, I have other things I need to attend to." I left her where she was standing and began to walk away.

"You'll go with me if you ever want to fool around again," she threatened.

I didn't even turn back around when I responded to her. "No loss to me, honey. My hand is better than your mouth, anyway."

She huffed and, I presume, stormed off. No big deal, I thought to myself. She was getting a little too clingy for my taste, anyway. I figured it wouldn't be too difficult to find another one just like her.

***

I made my way into the cafeteria one Friday afternoon and found my usual table empty. Even though I thought it odd that Jasper wasn't there, I shrugged it off and sat down anyway. For the first time all year, I actually looked around to the other inhabitants of the large, white room. Fairly normal high school shit, I presumed. There were the usual cliques and circles of friends… none of which I gave a shit about, anyway.

One thing struck me as odd, though. There was one girl, I didn't know her name or anything about her, really, but she sat all alone, on the far side of the cafeteria. She was by herself, staring at the window, not touching her food. Who sits by themselves at lunch? I took notice of my empty table then and laughed bitterly to myself. Maybe she's a loner, I thought. Or she just smells bad and people choose not to sit with her.

Or maybe, I decided, she didn't want to face the people at this school either. Maybe she was like

me, who didn't give a shit about our classmates. Maybe she had bigger things to think about than what Stanley and Newton did this weekend.

I sat and stared at the brunette, for the rest of the lunch period. I never saw her face, but I felt like maybe, just maybe, she was more like me than I would have originally ever thought.

***

"I'm going to Jasper's for the weekend," I said to my mom, about to walk out the door.

"Oh, no you're not," my dad said, coming into the living room.

"Uh, and why not?" I questioned him, sarcastically.

"You have finals next week. You're not going anywhere except to the kitchen table to study."

"Dad!" I complained. "It's Friday! I'm not going to study on a Friday night!"

"Oh, yes, you are. You need good grades, Edward. You're not going to mess this up.

"My grades are fine!" I tried to reason.

"Fine is not enough," he said with finality.

"Well, what's good enough for you, Dad? Please, tell me."

"Edward," he scolded. "Fine will get you nowhere in life. You need to be the best at everything you accomplish. You will only get ahead if you're the absolute best."

I sighed in annoyance and with a hint of indifference, I said, "Let's face it, Dad. My best is never going to be good enough for you."

I turned around and stormed out the front door. "Edward," my mother called after me. I didn't pay either one of them any attention.

Since I didn't have my license yet, I walked down the long driveway, in the rain, towards the only place I knew I could find peace.

My meadow.

***

**Chapter End Notes: Hopefully, that helped you understand the characters better. More outtakes will come soon.**

**Please review. It would be great to know if these outtakes are helping or not. **


	2. Charlie's Journal

**This was written for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence. Thank you for everyone who contributed to the cause. **

**Here is Charlie's Journal that he wrote in…Yes, Bella found it. When or how is not crucial to the story. **

_June 12, 2009_

_Bella called today. She told me she was coming back for her high school reunion. I hope she'll come and see me. Doc tries to be discreet when he asks about her, but I can see straight through his façade. I hope they hit it off. _

_June 14, 2009_

_She didn't come. Doc said she was sick. She just needs time. I really hope she comes tomorrow._

_June 15, 2009_

_I forgot how beautiful she was. The years have been good to her. We sat and talked for a while. I can tell she's still distant. I love her so much. _

_June 20, 2009_

_The pain was a lot today. I feel like I'm getting weaker, but I want to hold on so badly for my girl. I want to spend as much time with her as I can. I've missed her so much. _

_June 21, 2009_

_Something is going on between Doc and Bells. I can see how he looks at her. She would be good for him. He needs healing. _

_June 22, 2009_

_I miss Renee. I wish she were here. I really hope she's happy, though, with her new family. Bella looks like her. She has the same mannerisms and the same smile. I just want my family back – it's not fair that mine was taken away. I haven't told Bella this, but I found her mom a few months after she left. She didn't want anything to do with us – I almost wish she would have died instead, that way Bella wouldn't feel so rejected. _

_June 23, 2009_

_I was wrong yesterday. Bella is the only family I need. _

_June 30, 2009 _

_Bella is so broken. The more time I spend with her, the more I see it. I wish I could help her with whatever she is going through. She had such a spirit about her as a child. I worry about her. _

_July 7, 2009_

_Bella saw me write in this journal today. I'm thinking about writing her a letter in here to read after I'm gone. Is that too morbid, thinking about your own death? I should face it, though, right? I'm not getting any better – I've known for a while that this was coming. _

_July 8, 2009_

_I don't want to leaver her. She makes me so happy._

_July 10, 2009 _

_He loves her. Doc is completely consumed with my daughter. She loves him too. I see it in her eyes, even if she doesn't realize it yet. I wish I could take a shovel and pound it into their heads – they can't mess this up. Both of their lives have been turned upside down – together they can make it right. For once, I wish I could take every ounce of stubbornness out of Bella's personality. She is too protective for her own good, sometimes. _

_July 11, 2009_

_She didn't come by today. I forgot how lonely it was to sit here by myself. Sometimes I make jokes with Bella, about how I like being here, about the nurses and the food. But really, I hate it. I want to sit in my own chair, in my own house, and not stare at these pale walls. _

_July 17, 2009 _

_Things are getting worse with me. I'm scared. I don't want to tell Bella that I'm afraid, because I don't want her to worry. But I am. I feel cheated. I want to spend more time with her. I want to laugh more with her. I want to walk her down the aisle. I want to see the light in her eyes when she says, "I do." I want to be the one who dances with her at her reception. It should be me that gives her away – no one else. I want to see her when she is pregnant – watch as her belly grows and her skin shines. I want to hold her babies and hear them call me Papa. My life has gone so wrong in so many ways – but she is right. She is my right, and I want to be there with her. I just want more time._

_July 18, 2009_

_She went to go meet his parents today. They will love her. It's impossible not to. I love her - so much. _

_July 19, 2009_

_Dearest Bella,_

_I hope by the time you are reading this, that you are well. I miss you already. I just wanted you to know, how much of a joy you are. I am a better man because I had the honor to raise you as my daughter. You have given me strength and courage. You are the epitome of love. I would relive my life and not change a thing, if it meant that I got to have you in my life. I want you to know that you are stronger than you think. The love you give, whether you realize your loving or not, is the sweetest kind of love. You have so much to offer and you are worth only the very best. I love you so much. And, honey, your mom loved you too, even though she didn't know how to show you. Please forgive her. Forgive me, as well, for failing you as a father for all those years. I should have come to you. I should have followed you. _

_ I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything. You are the reason I am dying a happy man. You are the reason for my entire life. You are my baby girl, and I will love you always. _

_ But please, Bella, share your love. Share your life with someone. Find someone who makes you happy and allow yourself that happiness. You deserve it. Edward deserves it. _

_ He is a great man, Bella, and he will love you forever. I never believed in fate until I saw the way Edward looked at you. I have no doubt that he will love you everyday for the rest of eternity. _

_ You are my joy, my love, my life, my reason. Thank you for being the best thing to ever happen to me. _

_ You will forever be my little girl, and I hope you will carry me with you forever. _

_I love you,_

_Dad. _


End file.
